Coming of Age and Family Chaos

It’s a feeling in our belly.

It’s a pulse in our chest that surges down through our stomach, lower, into our pelvis, aching, longing to be relieved.

It’s the slant of an eye, or a bashful look through his eyelashes.

What and who stirred feelings of sensuality for you?

We pick up Shadow Heart just after Ryan Tilton, almost 25, introduces himself to Nicky Young, seventeen.  He begins a very careful, slow, sensual plan to bring her heart and mind to him and knows he needs to be careful or she’ll run away. Nicky is the daughter of an alcoholic, and the way she avoids confrontation is to run away.

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He laughed, and his tone got my attention once again.

Wow that laugh—it’s sublime, subtle, and distinct, and something’s . . . I feel like there’s a low rumble beginning in my belly.

“I talk fast when I’m nervous, too,” he said. Again, he put his hand on my shoulder.

Wow his hands are big.

What does Nicky do with feelings of warm pulses?

“Yeah, thanks but you’re, well you’re who you are,” I said.

“From what I understand you’re a genius yourself,” he leaned in close. “Your resume lists your GPA as 4.25, right?”

“I’ve never had my IQ measured to know, but I study all the time. I work very hard at it,” I said taking a breath. Keep it together. “All the time,” I repeated.

His smile was wide, but then his expression changed as he explained, “My dad was in the service too; Afghanistan. He was killed when I was

fourteen.” He looked away, seemingly trying to grasp and hold in his pain. “Oh, Mr. Tilton,” I put my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry.” Damn, so

young, poor guy.

I was startled by the power underneath his skin. His muscles were hard and well-defined, and the feel of them sent a surge through my body. It was as if they were hard marbles covered by fur, and touching him brought a different feeling to me, one I’d never experienced before.

It began with a burst in my chest, like a big beat, and rolled with an ache into my stomach and then resonated down my legs.