STABILITY IN 2017

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It seems like the appropriate time to talk about stability.

For this survivor of family addiction and trauma, having it meant everything.

How did I reach it? How do I have it all these years later when the walls seem to shake around me?

Here is one tip I’ve found invaluable, even when all I wanted was to shut down:

Keep reaching out!

All too often I let relationships come and go in my life, from family to friends. Reaching back to them, taking the ...

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Coming of Age – Growing up in Family Drama and Addiction

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“The evening begins when I am eight and my sister, eleven. We were trying to finish dinner before he’d unraveled. Within minutes, I’m hiding under the dining room table, cowering’ praying that he won’t see my hiding place.”

Hiding places – we all have them when growing up in a family that battles addiction. The rage – physical and mental – comes unexpectedly. We never know when our daily life will change. We are children that hope for the loving parent ...

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RISK-HOW WE DO IT EVERYDAY

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I’ve been thinking a lot about risk lately. Just the word used to cause a shudder in my body from head to toe. Risk. I knew I needed to take it when growing up in my family if I was going to change anything.  You see my father was an alcoholic. All the dysfunction you might imagine came with it. Rage, violence–verbal and physical intimidation–the codependent mother trying to keep the peace, and my sister and I, left to carve ...

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DATING AND INVITING FRIENDS OVER MY HOUSE

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DATING? INVITING FRIENDS OVER?

I didn’t dare.

I couldn’t let them see what it was like at home.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, at least for me, extended far beyond the walls of my house.

I didn’t date – I couldn’t take the chance they’d come to my house, hoping to meet my family, or hang out in my room, only to have my father burst in, overly affectionate, or raging that I’d brought someone home who wasn’t good enough.

Those judgments weren’t just ...

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FAMILY SECRETS: REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU SHARED ONE?

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“My dad’s an alcoholic, Alex.”

“I thought it was something like that,” she said.

To finally share my life with someone older, but still my peer, was a relief, and the conversation we had that day cemented the relationship with my new woman friend.”

— Shadow Heart, Book 1 of the Broken Bottles Series

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SHARE A FAMILY SECRET?

• Do you feel like you’ve betrayed your family?
• Are you relieved to finally share a part ...

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