DATING AND INVITING FRIENDS OVER MY HOUSE

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DATING? INVITING FRIENDS OVER?

I didn’t dare.

I couldn’t let them see what it was like at home.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, at least for me, extended far beyond the walls of my house.

I didn’t date – I couldn’t take the chance they’d come to my house, hoping to meet my family, or hang out in my room, only to have my father burst in, overly affectionate, or raging that I’d brought someone home who wasn’t good enough.

Those judgments weren’t just ...

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REMEMBERING GUILT, TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

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THREE GUILTY FEELINGS WHEN TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

There are several memories that flash through my head when I remember moments that I disappointed my family. I don’t know why I hold onto them so tightly. Are these the things that keep us wound up?

It’s harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others.

  • My grandmother
  • My father
  • My son

My grandmother was dying. I didn’t know it, but she was. Her last few months of life were spent at my parents’ house. She ...

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HOW I STAYED DETACHED FROM MY FAMILY’S ADDICTION

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HOW I STAYED DETACHED FROM DAD’S ALCOHOLISM

 

What are the adventures we create to enter an alternate world of joy, love, and a healthy family when we are only children?

For me, it was making friends, real and imaginary.

  • Real friends
  • Food
  • Things to do at school
  • Clubs
  • Volunteering
  • My sister

My neighbor was my best friend. I hopped the fence to play at her house any time I could. She was real. Her parents knew about my dad, but never talked about it. They saw him passed out ...

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Hollow Eyes-How Does a Child See an Addicted Parent?

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In a horror movie, no eyes generally means a serial killer is on the loose, or perhaps Jeepers Creepers 3 is being made (remember that one?).

In business, it might mean we’re dealing with a cold, hardened executive who has seen enough conmen and women to last his or her lifetime.

In my family of addiction, hollow eyes meant dad was gone to the liquid amber seduction of alcohol, and mom was numb, entering into her codependent life.

In Fire Heart, novel 2 ...

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GHOSTS AND MONSTERS

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There were many ghosts and monsters in my childhood.

  • My father, an alcoholic
  • My mother, the codependent
  • My father’s drunken friends
  • Having to ride in his truck, being taken home while he drove drunk
  • My grandmother’s pale, white face, when she was dying
  • Hiding places to avoid rage and violence

 

A story that begins Fire Heart seems out of place, about the ghosts of St. Agnes Sanitarium. But is it?

After all, this is a love story. Yes, but it’s how a woman who has come of age, ...

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