Emotional and Physical Shock: How do we numb ourselves?

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My sister came home in shock.
She looked dead.
In some ways, emotionally, we were all dead.
My father numbed his body and mind with alcohol.
I numbed myself with staying busy.
My mom numbed herself escaping into her romance novels.
Now my sister would be numb in a different way.

“Where have you been?” My mother asked angrily. “I was so worried.” Calmly and without emotion, her body in shock, Jenise answered, “I was raped.”

I saw my mother’s face become stone, trying her best ...

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A Love Story-Is that what our lives should be about?

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Our lives are ultimately a love story, aren’t they?

We strive to move through and dodge the pain, keep it away, sometimes embrace it, and other times we swear, scream, lash out, beat another down, with words, fists . . . all to make us safe, our family safe, our friends . . . because we love them.

Or we fear them. Or we want them to fear us, or love us, or forgive us.

Do we love ourselves in the same way?

Do ...

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Vulnerability-Can we just love without judgement?

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I knew my sister was hurt, and hurt badly.

Still, I judged. What did she do to bring this on?

Why couldn’t I put my arms around her?

Was I like my mom?

Was the way people got hurt too much for dad? Is that why he drank?

Weren’t we all numb in my family? Afraid to reach out, to put our arms around each other, to say “I love you”

We numbed with alcohol, detachment, being busy . . . the ways stayed ...

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Family Secrets – What is the Right Time to Talk About Them?

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* If you’ve been raised in family addiction, you know what family secrets are.

* When you cover family secrets, do you feel like no one will understand?

* When you feel alone, do you feel abandoned?

THERE’S NO RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN TO TELL YOU STORY.

EXPLAIN, EXPLORE, HELP OTHERS TO DISCOVER — THEY AREN’T ALONE. MILLIONS HAVE COME FROM GENERATIONS BEFORE, TRYING TO STOP THE DYSFUNCTION.

When your story involves dark family secrets, secrets that need to be told, secrets that may offend ...

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Waiting for Our Mother’s Arms, Even when My Sister is Raped

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*    Co-dependence

*    Enabling

What do they mean to you?

For my sister and me, it meant detachment from our mother. She could never tell us she loved us. She had trouble even touching us. It was almost as if she were afraid the emotions would rip something open in her, and tear apart the numbness around her heart.

The following passage of Shadow Heart is more from the night that changed my sister’s life forever.

“Where have you ...

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