Intimacy-how can I get it? What conversations do I need to have?

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“You don’t date?” Alex asked, once again joining Tara and me sitting in the bleachers.

“No,” I said.
“Why ever not,” she asked.

I was ridiculously naïve and socially backward in so many ways. Being raised in an alcoholic family can do that. It was better to hide away and shut down rather than feel the extreme joy or intense pain of life.

Like most of us, I had learned from what my parents taught by how they relate to one ...

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Emotional and Physical Shock: How do we numb ourselves?

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My sister came home in shock.
She looked dead.
In some ways, emotionally, we were all dead.
My father numbed his body and mind with alcohol.
I numbed myself with staying busy.
My mom numbed herself escaping into her romance novels.
Now my sister would be numb in a different way.

“Where have you been?” My mother asked angrily. “I was so worried.” Calmly and without emotion, her body in shock, Jenise answered, “I was raped.”

I saw my mother’s face become stone, trying her best ...

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A Love Story-Is that what our lives should be about?

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Our lives are ultimately a love story, aren’t they?

We strive to move through and dodge the pain, keep it away, sometimes embrace it, and other times we swear, scream, lash out, beat another down, with words, fists . . . all to make us safe, our family safe, our friends . . . because we love them.

Or we fear them. Or we want them to fear us, or love us, or forgive us.

Do we love ourselves in the same way?

Do ...

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Family Secrets – What is the Right Time to Talk About Them?

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* If you’ve been raised in family addiction, you know what family secrets are.

* When you cover family secrets, do you feel like no one will understand?

* When you feel alone, do you feel abandoned?

THERE’S NO RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN TO TELL YOU STORY.

EXPLAIN, EXPLORE, HELP OTHERS TO DISCOVER — THEY AREN’T ALONE. MILLIONS HAVE COME FROM GENERATIONS BEFORE, TRYING TO STOP THE DYSFUNCTION.

When your story involves dark family secrets, secrets that need to be told, secrets that may offend ...

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My Sister was Raped

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IN THIS SCENE IN SHADOW HEART NICKY YOUNG REFLECTS BACK TO WHEN HER SISTER WAS RAPED, AND HOW IT CONVINCED HER THAT FLIRTING OR SHOWING YOURSELF WITH REVEALING CLOTHES LEADS TO VIOLENCE AND SHAME.

The day my sister’s life changed forever, I came home from school at the usual time.

She was generally a few hours behind me, hanging back and talking with friends, having a soda or the occasional beer and doing the other things that occupied the lives ...

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