I knew my sister was hurt, and hurt badly.
Still, I judged. What did she do to bring this on?
Why couldn’t I put my arms around her?
Was I like my mom?
Was the way people got hurt too much for dad? Is that why he drank?
Weren’t we all numb in my family? Afraid to reach out, to put our arms around each other, to say “I love you”
We numbed with alcohol, detachment, being busy . . . the ways stayed away from each other were too many to list.
How to do we numb ourselves to the pain in our lives?
We pick up the scene of my sister’s rape, in Shadow Heart, the for novel in the Broken Bottles Series, A Love Story
And still, “Watch your sister,” mom said, as she rushed to her bedroom, got dressed, and then came downstairs. I heard her in the kitchen on the phone to the hospital asking for a “SANE” professional—someone trained in rape trauma—to be present with a rape kit.
After hanging up, she walked down the hallway and grabbed her purse and keys off the small table by the front door, while my sister stood motionless.
When Jenise finally lifted her head and looked at me so helplessly, her sad eyes screaming, “Why did this happen to me?” I turned away.
Her expression said it all. Her spirit was gone and I didn’t know how to process the pain I felt from seeing her that way.
She’d been my hero.
I didn’t want to hear her talk about her violated body, the strength that was ripped out of her, or the ways in which her innocence was lost, and taken by some power-crazed, sick man.
I knew she’d never look at life the same way again.
1. WERE THERE EVENTS THAT CHANGED THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT YOUR FAMILY?
2. WHAT WAS THE MOMENT YOU LOST A KIND OF INNOCENCE?
3. HOW DO YOU STAY AWAY FROM PAIN? IS IT POSSIBLE?
Won’t you join the conversation at www.JounreysToAnOpenHeart.com or www.PamelaTaeuffer.com
APR
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