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We all handle fear differently.
When we grow up in a family battling addiction, we cross our fingers (sometimes our toes) and hope for the best every day. We never knew what we going to get when my father came home, or when we came home. This is how Shadow Heart Opens.
I always prayed the same way at night: “Now I lay me down to
sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray
the ...
Continue Reading →I am taking a different approach to writing about growing in a family that tried to survive the best we could, an alcoholic father, husband, who sometimes raged, and for many years, all I could remember of him was passed out in his chair or in bed (after the screaming ...
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Nicky Young, remembers an evening when the was eight years old.
What prayers do you remember, if any?
How did you escape? Your friends, family, siblings . . . what role did they play in your survival?
THIS IS NICKY YOUNG’S PRAYER, AND THE OPENING TO A VIOLENT NIGHT IN SHADOW HEART:
I always prayed the same way at night: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the ...
Continue Reading →NICKY’S MOTHER SITS IN THE KITCHEN, TRYING NOT TO UNDERSTAND, EVEN AS SHE UNDERSTANDS, HER DAUGHTER’S NEED TO STAY BUSY AND AWAY FROM THE DARK SECRETS OF THEIR HOME.
Now, instead of the gratification she’d received from her work, she picked up my father from the front lawn after he’d passed out, or helped him as he stumbled out of his truck, or undressed him and put him to bed, and sometimes wiped his ass when he’d made a mess of ...
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This scene is from the first time Nicky volunteers with Ryan, as I waited to be picked up and started to notice my mother in a different way.
I was nervous and excited while waiting for Ryan to come and pick me up, as if I was going on a first date with my high school crush. I couldn’t sit still and I put my hair up, then took it down, pulled it in a ponytail, then let it ...