A CHILD RAISED IN A FAMILY BATTLING ALCOHOLISM-A Poem

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This poem is could be the anthem of many children who have been raised in a family battling alcoholism:

ABANDONED THINGS

Stability-I crave it

Control-I need it

Intimacy-I desperately want it

I look okay but I’m not

I may be successful in public

In private, I am struggling

You see me as an adult

Inside I am a little girl still afraid

I have lost my childhood

Please look ...

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STABILITY IN 2017

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It seems like the appropriate time to talk about stability.

For this survivor of family addiction and trauma, having it meant everything.

How did I reach it? How do I have it all these years later when the walls seem to shake around me?

Here is one tip I’ve found invaluable, even when all I wanted was to shut down:

Keep reaching out!

All too often I let relationships come and go in my life, from family to friends. Reaching back to them, taking the ...

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MOMS, FRIENDS, PARTNERS, PARENTS, NEW ADULTS

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MOTHERS, FATHERS, SIBLINGS, FRIENDS, LOVERS, PARTNERS –

Weight and body issues aren’t what they seem. For children of dysfunctional families, they mean comfort and escape. They are the friends who never disappointed me.

During the nights of my father’s rage, even in the terror, a sense of calm filled me up because I knew Mom, a co-dependent within her husband’s alcoholic addiction, would reward me with presents the next day. It was often a movie with popcorn and candy, or ...

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Coming of Age – Growing up in Family Drama and Addiction

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“The evening begins when I am eight and my sister, eleven. We were trying to finish dinner before he’d unraveled. Within minutes, I’m hiding under the dining room table, cowering’ praying that he won’t see my hiding place.”

Hiding places – we all have them when growing up in a family that battles addiction. The rage – physical and mental – comes unexpectedly. We never know when our daily life will change. We are children that hope for the loving parent ...

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RISK-HOW WE DO IT EVERYDAY

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I’ve been thinking a lot about risk lately. Just the word used to cause a shudder in my body from head to toe. Risk. I knew I needed to take it when growing up in my family if I was going to change anything.  You see my father was an alcoholic. All the dysfunction you might imagine came with it. Rage, violence–verbal and physical intimidation–the codependent mother trying to keep the peace, and my sister and I, left to carve ...

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