MOMS, FRIENDS, PARTNERS, PARENTS, NEW ADULTS

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MOTHERS, FATHERS, SIBLINGS, FRIENDS, LOVERS, PARTNERS –

Weight and body issues aren’t what they seem. For children of dysfunctional families, they mean comfort and escape. They are the friends who never disappointed me.

During the nights of my father’s rage, even in the terror, a sense of calm filled me up because I knew Mom, a co-dependent within her husband’s alcoholic addiction, would reward me with presents the next day. It was often a movie with popcorn and candy, or ...

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Coming of Age – Growing up in Family Drama and Addiction

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“The evening begins when I am eight and my sister, eleven. We were trying to finish dinner before he’d unraveled. Within minutes, I’m hiding under the dining room table, cowering’ praying that he won’t see my hiding place.”

Hiding places – we all have them when growing up in a family that battles addiction. The rage – physical and mental – comes unexpectedly. We never know when our daily life will change. We are children that hope for the loving parent ...

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REMEMBERING GUILT, TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

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THREE GUILTY FEELINGS WHEN TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

There are several memories that flash through my head when I remember moments that I disappointed my family. I don’t know why I hold onto them so tightly. Are these the things that keep us wound up?

It’s harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others.

  • My grandmother
  • My father
  • My son

My grandmother was dying. I didn’t know it, but she was. Her last few months of life were spent at my parents’ house. She ...

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HOW I STAYED DETACHED FROM MY FAMILY’S ADDICTION

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HOW I STAYED DETACHED FROM DAD’S ALCOHOLISM

 

What are the adventures we create to enter an alternate world of joy, love, and a healthy family when we are only children?

For me, it was making friends, real and imaginary.

  • Real friends
  • Food
  • Things to do at school
  • Clubs
  • Volunteering
  • My sister

My neighbor was my best friend. I hopped the fence to play at her house any time I could. She was real. Her parents knew about my dad, but never talked about it. They saw him passed out ...

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GHOSTS AND MONSTERS

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There were many ghosts and monsters in my childhood.

  • My father, an alcoholic
  • My mother, the codependent
  • My father’s drunken friends
  • Having to ride in his truck, being taken home while he drove drunk
  • My grandmother’s pale, white face, when she was dying
  • Hiding places to avoid rage and violence

 

A story that begins Fire Heart seems out of place, about the ghosts of St. Agnes Sanitarium. But is it?

After all, this is a love story. Yes, but it’s how a woman who has come of age, ...

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