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Whatever the reason, tonight, his rage ignites in a flash.
I watch, terrified, as his flushed face knots up in hatred. Is it because my sister and I stand between him and his liquid candy?
Keeping my screams pressed down, I hold my hand over my mouth, watching the man who I thought was ...
Continue Reading →The first chapter of Shadow Heart, Book 1 in the Broken Bottles Series, tells a story of an alcoholic parent, alone with his young daughters, the only thing on his mind – getting to his bottle.
Nicky and Jenise, age 8 and 5, are alone with their father. Their mother works the night shift at Juvenile Hall in San Francisco. Nicky, the youngest of the two describes the feeling in the room: sparks, igniting, pacing, his angry red face . . ...
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MOTHERS, FATHERS, SIBLINGS, FRIENDS, LOVERS, PARTNERS –
Weight and body issues aren’t what they seem. For children of dysfunctional families, they mean comfort and escape. They are the friends who never disappointed me.
During the nights of my father’s rage, even in the terror, a sense of calm filled me up because I knew Mom, a co-dependent within her husband’s alcoholic addiction, would reward me with presents the next day. It was often a movie with popcorn and candy, or ...
Continue Reading →“The evening begins when I am eight and my sister, eleven. We were trying to finish dinner before he’d unraveled. Within minutes, I’m hiding under the dining room table, cowering’ praying that he won’t see my hiding place.”
Hiding places – we all have them when growing up in a family that battles addiction. The rage – physical and mental – comes unexpectedly. We never know when our daily life will change. We are children that hope for the loving parent ...
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THREE GUILTY FEELINGS WHEN TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT
There are several memories that flash through my head when I remember moments that I disappointed my family. I don’t know why I hold onto them so tightly. Are these the things that keep us wound up?
It’s harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others.
My grandmother was dying. I didn’t know it, but she was. Her last few months of life were spent at my parents’ house. She ...
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