STABILITY IN 2017

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It seems like the appropriate time to talk about stability.

For this survivor of family addiction and trauma, having it meant everything.

How did I reach it? How do I have it all these years later when the walls seem to shake around me?

Here is one tip I’ve found invaluable, even when all I wanted was to shut down:

Keep reaching out!

All too often I let relationships come and go in my life, from family to friends. Reaching back to them, taking the ...

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29
JAN
0

Broken Bottles, Introverts, mailchimp contacts, My Two Years as Porn Star

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REMEMBERING GUILT, TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

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REMEMBERING GUILT, TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

THREE GUILTY FEELINGS WHEN TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT

There are several memories that flash through my head when I remember moments that I disappointed my family. I don’t know why I hold onto them so tightly. Are these the things that keep us wound up?

It’s harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others.

  • My grandmother
  • My father
  • My son

My grandmother was dying. I didn’t know it, but she was. Her last few months of life were spent at my parents’ house. She ...

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15
MAR
0

Broken Bottles, Ebooks and Short Stories, Introverts, My Two Years as Porn Star, Smashed in Pieces, THE STRUGGLE

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Women who are Fifty-Can you Find me a Magazine?

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Yes, I’m into my fifties now. Hooray! Each morning I look for another line on my lips. Soon I’ll give up. Maybe there will be so many of them they’ll combine to form a nice new lip again. Yes, I’m kidding.

Somehow women in their fifties seem to get lost, don’t they? We’re not climbing the ladder any longer, and certainly can’t claim any resemblance, physically or otherwise to  our thirties and forties.

We’re almost or are done with parenting, but we’re ...

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18
FEB
0

Ebooks and Short Stories, Introverts, My Two Years as Porn Star

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BOXING HUMANS-MORE THAN VAGINAS AND PENISES

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MY BODY- I LOVE IT/I HATE IT

 

I’ll never forget the afternoon, almost eleven years ago, when I was in counseling. I was getting therapy after my son’s traumatic brain injury.

It had been a difficult few weeks—no, actually the whole damn year had been hell—and I was trying to find peace anywhere I could find it.

The therapist listened as I poured out my pain.

Of course as a mother, I was feeling guilty about not being able to console or soothe my ...

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10
FEB
0

My Two Years as Porn Star

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I Hated My Body Even at only Seventeen

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EARLY ASSOCIATIONS WITH BODY TYPES

Nicky sits in the bleachers with her new women friends, wife and fiancé to two of the Goliath pitchers, the professional baseball team for which she and her friends cheer for on weekends. Her business plan was accepted, the first of its kind in baseball, and she knows Stanford, the college of her dreams, is in reach.

“Boys are too much of a risk,” I said. “I don’t want to take a chance. Hey, Ryan Tilton is ...

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17
AUG
0

Broken Bottles, My Two Years as Porn Star

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