Our lives are ultimately a love story, aren’t they?
We strive to move through and dodge the pain, keep it away, sometimes embrace it, and other times we swear, scream, lash out, beat another down, with words, fists . . . all to make us safe, our family safe, our friends . . . because we love them.
Or we fear them. Or we want them to fear us, or love us, or forgive us.
Do we love ourselves in the same way?
Do ...
Continue Reading →I knew my sister was hurt, and hurt badly.
Still, I judged. What did she do to bring this on?
Why couldn’t I put my arms around her?
Was I like my mom?
Was the way people got hurt too much for dad? Is that why he drank?
Weren’t we all numb in my family? Afraid to reach out, to put our arms around each other, to say “I love you”
We numbed with alcohol, detachment, being busy . . . the ways stayed ...
* If you’ve been raised in family addiction, you know what family secrets are.
* When you cover family secrets, do you feel like no one will understand?
* When you feel alone, do you feel abandoned?
THERE’S NO RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN TO TELL YOU STORY.
EXPLAIN, EXPLORE, HELP OTHERS TO DISCOVER — THEY AREN’T ALONE. MILLIONS HAVE COME FROM GENERATIONS BEFORE, TRYING TO STOP THE DYSFUNCTION.
When your story involves dark family secrets, secrets that need to be told, secrets that may offend ...
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* Co-dependence
* Enabling
What do they mean to you?
For my sister and me, it meant detachment from our mother. She could never tell us she loved us. She had trouble even touching us. It was almost as if she were afraid the emotions would rip something open in her, and tear apart the numbness around her heart.
The following passage of Shadow Heart is more from the night that changed my sister’s life forever.
“Where have you ...
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IN THIS SCENE IN SHADOW HEART NICKY YOUNG REFLECTS BACK TO WHEN HER SISTER WAS RAPED, AND HOW IT CONVINCED HER THAT FLIRTING OR SHOWING YOURSELF WITH REVEALING CLOTHES LEADS TO VIOLENCE AND SHAME.
The day my sister’s life changed forever, I came home from school at the usual time.
She was generally a few hours behind me, hanging back and talking with friends, having a soda or the occasional beer and doing the other things that occupied the lives ...