I knew my sister was hurt, and hurt badly.
Still, I judged. What did she do to bring this on?
Why couldn’t I put my arms around her?
Was I like my mom?
Was the way people got hurt too much for dad? Is that why he drank?
Weren’t we all numb in my family? Afraid to reach out, to put our arms around each other, to say “I love you”
We numbed with alcohol, detachment, being busy . . . the ways stayed ...
* Co-dependence
* Enabling
What do they mean to you?
For my sister and me, it meant detachment from our mother. She could never tell us she loved us. She had trouble even touching us. It was almost as if she were afraid the emotions would rip something open in her, and tear apart the numbness around her heart.
The following passage of Shadow Heart is more from the night that changed my sister’s life forever.
“Where have you ...
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IN THIS SCENE IN SHADOW HEART NICKY YOUNG REFLECTS BACK TO WHEN HER SISTER WAS RAPED, AND HOW IT CONVINCED HER THAT FLIRTING OR SHOWING YOURSELF WITH REVEALING CLOTHES LEADS TO VIOLENCE AND SHAME.
The day my sister’s life changed forever, I came home from school at the usual time.
She was generally a few hours behind me, hanging back and talking with friends, having a soda or the occasional beer and doing the other things that occupied the lives ...
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IN THIS SCENE NICKY YOUNG, OUR YOUNG WOMAN COMING OF AGE, SITS WITH HER NEW WOMEN FRIENDS AND MENTORS, TARA SUMMERS AND ALEXANDRA FLOWERS, WIFE AND FIANCE TO MATT AND DARRELL SWEET, PROFESSIONAL PITCHERS ON THE SAN FRANCISCO GOLIATHS BASEBALL TEAM.
NIKCY HAS JUST SHARED WITH ALEX THAT HER FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC, AND BEGINS TO REFLECT INWARD ON HER PROBLEMS OF MAKING NEW RELATIONSHIPS AND HER CHALLENGES ABOUT HAVING SEX.
To finally share the information ...
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At seventeen, Nicky confides in cheer team mentor Alexandra Flowers and Tara Summers about her family’s dysfunction and also her fears and doubts about her body. Her hips, breasts, and stomach are more developed than her peers, she is getting looks from older men, and she’s uncomfortable in her own skin and with others. She sits in the bleachers talking with the two women.
“My dad’s an alcoholic, Alex,” I confided while she waited with me in ...
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